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For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men (Walker Large Print Books) | 
 enlarge | Author: Shaunti Feldhahn
Publisher: Thorndike Press
Category: Book
List Price: $15.95
Buy New: $9.56
You Save: $6.39 (40%)
New (23) Used (8) from $9.56
Avg. Customer Rating:  213 reviews
Sales Rank: 452418
Format: Large Print
Media: Paperback
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 216
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.6
Dimensions (in): 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.6
ISBN: 1594151121
Dewey Decimal Number: 248.8435
EAN: 9781594151125
ASIN: 1594151121
Publication Date: June 2, 2006
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Shipping: International shipping available
Condition: Brand New, Perfect Condition, Please allow 4-14 business days for delivery. 100% Money Back Guarantee, Over 1,000,000 customers served.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 208 more reviews...
 For Men Only vs For Women Only - Comparing the Reviews July 25, 2008
0 out of 2 found this review helpful
Both books were interesting. But scanning the reviews for both books today was more illuminating.
"For Men Only" - helping men figure out their fairer partner - has garnered about 90 comments so far. The few negative reviews were from two apparently unhappily-married guys, and a woman suggesting if you didn't already know what women wanted you were clueless. The rest, often by women (my best guess here, given the pronouns and screen names used by reviewers), offered glowing commentary of how important it is to understand and meet a woman's needs. Ah, the importance of patience, kindness, listening. My favorites were the ones in all capitals and exclamation points. Yes, yes, YES, YES!!!
Now scan the "For Women Only" comments - all 212 of them to date. So far there are 29 negative reviews (including 16 "1 star" votes) about a book on how ladies can better love their men. There were a few unhappy guys, some complaining the book wasn't "biblical" enough, but the bulk are from ladies insulted (!) by the idea of compromising their feminine selves for some man.
The ladies offered such loving things as:
"Unfortunately, this book is only going to help you if you're a fat nagging religious close minded wife who's let herself go."
"The entire book was about stroking a man's ego at the expense of anything the woman may want."
"This book is full of generalizations and stereotypes that should have gone out of fashion at the same time as beehive hairdos."
"If you want to find a reason to play into all of the broad societal expectations about your personal appearance, your sexual boundaries, and general steps to becoming a Stepford wife, then this is your book!"
Or my favorite: "There is an underlying "good" here that is twisted in a package that will be ultimately damaging to our children and to ourselves. Yes, we must be careful of our spouse's emotional, physical, sexual, and relational needs. But we must do this out of love and respect that is guided by a sense of mutuality in the marriage relationship, not by catering to an unhealthy sense of self-worth that is so pervasive in the responses of Feldhahn's participants. Feldhahn has taken these unhealthy responses and twisted them into normal "healthy" responses that women must then take care of through their behavior and appearance. We should not buy into this myth. Rather, we should take seriously the feelings of low self-esteem, poor attachment, and an un-Biblical view of the role of women in a marriage relationship that were demonstrated by the participant's responses and work to improve the messages we are sending the men in our society."
Obviously a graduate of Women's Studies at Wellesley College.
Now, don't get me wrong. The large majority of both men and women who read these two books found them helpful in understanding the opposite sex a little better. Most couples also found them to be good conversation-starters, important for any relationship. Having scanned both I also thought there was plenty of useful info in each.
It's hard, though, to miss all of the gracious thoughts liberally applied to "his book about her," compared to what seems like a sort of begrudging admission in the other that, well, men like being loved too, as long as it meets faminine approval.
Speaking of usefulness, perhaps the person these books helped the most was a former boyfriend of a Ms. Rhonda Pyle of Corpus, TX:
"My boyfriend gave me this book in hopes that I would read it and think that what it was saying was insightful and profound. He thought it could help make me into the woman he wanted me to be. I just want to say to the women that are considering buying this book: I broke up with my boyfriend of two years - who I was going to marry - shortly after he gave me this unhelpful, uninspired piece of material. I was glad though; it revealed to me the kind of man he was. I don't think this helped me understand men more; it just made excuses for them. I remember thinking how often it excused men's insecurities and how women should just be OK with this obvious fault. I'm a Christian woman, but I don't believe that women have to be pushovers for men in order to be a righteous woman in their marriages..."
Wherever you are, bro, count your blessings. Thanks to this little book you dodged a bullet.
Perhaps Ms. Rhonda's unwittingly found the most important reason to buy Shaunti's stuff: Give a copy to your (prospective) mate and see what happens. If it gets devoured and put into action, you're a lucky guy/gal. If it remains un-opened on the nightstand or ends up in the garbage disposal, perhaps you should reconsider your options...
 For Women only July 17, 2008
I wish I had read this book at the beginning of my marriage, now 22 years later I am still doing the same thing I did when I first got married with no good results.
Now, I have started changing my remarks in public about my husband that I did not realize were detrimental to how he feels about himself. There are lots of things I never truly realized about men. We are so totally different. I complained about him working long hours and that is one way he is saying he loves me and the kids by providing for us. To me that is a sacrifice to the family, and yet to him it is the man's job.
Just little things like that to help me see things in a different perspective.
he should be reading the counterpart. it's not all on you, girl! July 10, 2008
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
I agree with other reviewers that this may encourage women to be less assertive of their needs and more understanding when their husbands are doing things the don't understand/agree with.
This book did help me understand my man but he's still accountable for his actions.
He read the counterpart for men and has adapted his behaviors as well. If you have the sort of relationship where you can work together it can't hurt for both to become more understanding!
This book has religious undertones but it's tolerable.
Amazing book July 4, 2008
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
This is an eye opening book for women on learning to support, love and encourage your husband.
a must read for all wives! July 3, 2008
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
I highly recommend that all women, married or not, read chapter 2, "Your Love is Not Enough, Why Your Respect Means More to Him Than Even Your Affection" I now give these books as wedding presents.
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