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Women Don't Ask: The High Cost of Avoiding Negotiation--and Positive Strategies for Change | 
 enlarge | Authors: Linda Babcock, Sara Laschever
Publisher: Bantam
Category: Book
List Price: $14.00
Buy New: $7.88
You Save: $6.12 (44%)
New (39) Used (14) from $6.98
Avg. Customer Rating:  28 reviews
Sales Rank: 35546
Media: Paperback
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 272
Shipping Weight (lbs): 3.8
Dimensions (in): 8.9 x 5.9 x 0.9
ISBN: 0553383876
Dewey Decimal Number: 658
EAN: 9780553383874
ASIN: 0553383876
Publication Date: February 27, 2007
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Shipping: International shipping available
Condition: BRAND NEW
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Amazon.com Review
Men ask for what they want twice as often as women do and initiate negotiation four times more, report economist Linda Babcock and writer Sara Laschever in the footnoted but engaging Women Don't Ask. With vivid research examples drawn from cradle, classroom and playground, the authors detail culture as the culprit in discouraging women from negotiating on their own behalf. Men, socialized in a "scrappier paradigm," learn to pursue and energize their goals at work and home. The two key elements are control and recognizing opportunity. For example, girls, rewarded for hard work, learn to see control as outside of themselves while boys are urged to take charge. Boys are schooled to recognize opportunity and girls to choose safe targets. Several chapters are focused on prescription; how women can decrease anxiety, anticipate roadblocks, plan counter-moves and resist conceding too much or too soon. The authors shine in their examination of culture and gender--and their optimism about how women can counter the culture. They falter whenever they adopt the "sexes-from-a-different-planet" fallacy. Most notably, in a chapter that details a "female approach" to negotiating. Overall, the authors have created a smart summary of research and used it to affirm every woman's urgent right to ask. --Barbara Mackoff
Product Description
Combining fascinating research with revealing commentary from hundreds of women, this groundbreaking book explores the personal and societal reasons women seldom ask for what they need, want, and deserve at home and at work–and shows how they can develop this crucial skill.
By neglecting to negotiate her starting salary for her first job, a woman may sacrifice over half a million dollars in earnings by the end of her career. Yet, as research reveals, men are four times more likely to ask for higher pay than are women with the same qualifications. From career promotions to help with child care, studies show time and again that women don’t ask–and frequently don’t even realize that they can. Women Don’t Ask offers real-life examples of the differences between the negotiating habits of men and women, and guides women in retooling their attitudes and approaches. Discover how to:
• Take the first step–choosing to negotiate at all
• Develop a comfortable, effective negotiation style
• Overcome fear, personal entitlement issues, and gender stereotypes
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| Customer Reviews: Read 23 more reviews...
 Empower yourself by reading a few pages before negotiating! March 12, 2008
Every woman should read this book before asking for a raise. The studies conducted are a harsh, yet empowering reminder that men often get raises, promotions, projects at work, etc. because they are not afraid to request what they think they deserve (or don't deserve!). I've recommended this book for young women just starting out in the work force, as well as seasoned executives at major companies and they have all found it useful. The information is presented in an intelligent, interesting manner- not a self-help or 'business' book, which in my opinion, is a good thing.
Good set up for "Ask For It" March 3, 2008
3 out of 3 found this review helpful
This book does a wonderful job of sharing all the research which explains why women are less likely to negotiate, less likely to ask for what they want, and less likely to get what they want. However, what's missing from this book is how women can overcome these barriers. The sequel to this book, "Ask For It", does a great job answering that question. If you're looking for ideas of how to improve woman's likelihood to negotiate and a woman's likelihood to ask, buy the sequel. If you're interested in WHY women are less likely to ask, stick with this book!
 Informative and Readable December 1, 2007
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
Another in my series of reading books that my wife has left lying around the house. This book studies why women don't seem to ask for things as frequently as men do - and the impact of not asking. I was fascinated by the data presented - in short, that (in general) men seem to view everything in life as negotiable, while women consider most things as non-negotiable. In fact, I noticed this yesterday at the local Big 5 store - the guy in front of me just flat out asked for an extra discount - no reason given - and he got 10% off, just for asking. I asked about a AAA discount, but the clerk seemed to have run out of freebies. This book was certainly useful to me as we bought a car and arranged to have our house painted during the period I read it. (Total savings, $700 and I could have done better).
This book was also very relevant to me as a parent, as I see Matthew always asks for what he wants, with no qualms at all - whereas Emily is more hesitant as she considers the ramifications of her request (will I get mad, will relationships be endangered, perhaps I will guess what she wants without her having to ask, etc.). All in all, lots of good lessons for Emily and I.
Also, the book does not simply say "men ask for more, they get more, women should be like men" - but rather point out ways in which women's typical negotiating style (relationship oriented) can work out well in the long run and how women can leverage that style to be more effective. But I think it also helps women to realize that much of life is actually negotiable and that there are opportunities waiting to be grabbed.
Women Don't Ask is one of the best blends of "journalism + academic writing" that I have seen. As I have noted before, journalist writing is often "light" - statements are not deeply justified, ramifications not fully explored, objections not effectively countered. On the other hand, academic writing (which has none of those flaws) can be dense and unreadable. This book is a near-perfect balance. Probably helps that one author is a journalist and the other is a professor - but the book is co-written seamlessly.
Women don't ask: the high cost of avoiding negotiation and postive strategies for change November 10, 2007
Babcock and Laschever have presented an excellent -- thoroughly researched and well-written -- discussion of the rationale behind, and costs of, the problems encountered when women negotiate (including a resistance to doing so). They build a damning case against gender stereotyping and socialization based on extensive scientific research and present clearly the ways in which this has hampered many women in their approach to negotiating. In particular, the discussion of the impact of disparate levels of perceived entitlement between men and women (of all ages) is extremely illuminating. It is not a book that levels blame (which does not mean that it is a comfortable read; as a professional woman I found it decidedly uncomfortable at times), but does seek to highlight ways in which we, and the society in which we live, have solidified an aversion to asking for what we want, need, or deserve.
The touted "strategies for change" are minimal (although the idea that feelings of entitlement lead to stronger bargaining is useful). Instead, the benefits of a more stereotypically feminine approach to negotiating (i.e. collaborative) are discussed, as are the ways in which modern negotiations are tending in that direction.
All in all, a book very worth reading (and one that almost all my friends will be getting!).
 Women Don't Ask October 13, 2007
3 out of 5 found this review helpful
To say I was a little disappointed with this book is probably an understatement.
I was expecting a hybrid of the psychology behind why women don't ask and coaching or mentoring points (checklist if you like) of actions and strategies to improve.
This is not what I found.
The book was interesting to some degree but it was difficult to pinpoint actions or strategies for improvement, they weren't spelled out in easy to read format, nor were they easy to identify.
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