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I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression

I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression

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Author: Terrence Real
Publisher: Scribner
Category: Book

List Price: $15.00
Buy Used: $1.79
You Save: $13.21 (88%)



New (42) Used (100) Collectible (2) from $1.79

Avg. Customer Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars 83 reviews
Sales Rank: 7682

Media: Paperback
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 384
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.7
Dimensions (in): 8.3 x 5.5 x 1

ISBN: 0684835398
Dewey Decimal Number: 616.85270081
EAN: 9780684835396
ASIN: 0684835398

Publication Date: March 2, 1998
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Shipping: Expedited shipping available
Shipping: International shipping available
Condition: Help save a tree. Buy all your used books from Green Earth Books. Read -> Recycle -> Reuse!

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Accessories:

  • Braun IRT 4020 ThermoScan Ear Thermometer

Similar Items:

  • How Can I Get Through to You?: Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women
  • The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work
  • Depression Fallout: The Impact of Depression on Couples and What You Can Do to Preserve the Bond
  • Unmasking Male Depression
  • How You Can Survive When They're Depressed: Living and Coping with Depression Fallout

Editorial Reviews:

Amazon.com
When Terrence Real was studying to be a therapist, he accepted the notion that women suffered depression at rates several times that of men. Now he believes that conventional wisdom is wrong, that there has been a great cultural cover-up of depression in men. Real is convinced of the existence of a mental illness that is passed from fathers to sons in the form of rage, workaholism, distanced relationships from loved ones, and self-destructive behaviors ranging from stupid choices at work and in love to drug and alcohol abuse. Men reading I Don't Want to Talk About It will probably recognize themselves in every chapter, while women will recognize their partners--and, of course, both sexes will see their fathers in a new light.

Product Description
Twenty years of experience treating men and their families has convincedpsychotherapist Terrence Real that depression is a silent epidemic in men -- thatmen hide their condition from family, friends, and themselves to avoid the stigmaof depression's "un-manliness." Problems that we think of as typicallymale -- difficulty with intimacy, workaholism, alcoholism, abusive behavior, andrage-are really attempts to escape depression. And these escape attempts onlyhurt the people men love and pass their condition on to their children.

This groundbreaking book is the "pathway out of darkness" that these men andtheir families seek. Real reveals how men can unearth their pain, healthemselves, restore relationships, and break the legacy of abuse. He mixespenetrating analysis with compelling tales of his patients and even his ownexperiences with depression as the son of a violent, depressed father and thefather of two young sons.

Download Description
Each year, millions of men and women fall prey to depression. While the disorder has been called "psychiatry's most treatable condition", less than one in five get help. In recent years, the silence surrounding depression in women has begun to lift, but only now, with this powerful groundbreaking work, does psychotherapist Terrence Real expose a virtual epidemic of the disorder in men. Twenty years of experience treating men and their families has convinced Terrence Real that there are two forms of depression: "overt" and "covert". Feeling the stigma of depression's "unmanliness", many men hide their condition not only from family and friends but even from themselves. Attempts to escape depression fuel many of the problems we think of as typically male - difficulty with intimacy, workaholism, alcoholism, abusive behavior, and rage. By directing their pain outward, depressed men hurt the people they love, and, most tragically, pass their condition on to their children. A master storyteller, Terrence Real mixes penetrating analysis with poignant, compelling tales of the men and women whom he treats. He writes with passion and searing clarity about his own experiences with depression, as the son of a depressed, violent father, and the father of two young sons.


Customer Reviews:   Read 78 more reviews...

5 out of 5 stars terrific book "I dont want to talk about it"   June 14, 2008
Literate to a high degree, insightful, helpful, and even revelatory, Terry Real's book, "I Don't Want to Talk About It" explores, with heoric assiduousness, the causes, manifestations, ramifications, implications, and possible releases from the contemporary problems included by the term "depression". One of the books triumphs is its accessibility, another its fertiltiy. I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression


5 out of 5 stars My review   May 20, 2008
This book is an awesome book. It's got a lot of interesting cases in it as well as the scientific reasonings. I'm not a big reader, but this book really got me hooked.


5 out of 5 stars Real deal   January 13, 2008
I've read this book over and over. It's insightful and brave. Some of the less enthusiastic reviewers are missing the point. You can be happy indeed if the traumas described here don't explain your or your loved ones' depression. There are plenty of people who WILL be helped by this book, even if you aren't.


1 out of 5 stars More like a autobiography than a self help book   December 20, 2007
 2 out of 5 found this review helpful

I honestly don't understand the many rave reviews! The title is misleading in that it does NOT help you to overcome depression. I do not recall any content that guides the reader through this disorder.

By the way, this is my first review and I'm not even the target male audience. However, my opinion mirrors that of my fiance for whom this book was intended. Usually we end up liking the library book so much we end up buying. Not the case for this book!

We both feel that this is more of an autobiography of his work with depressed patients. As another reviewer pointed out, it is basically a collection of stories. Even if the reader has the Exact childhood history/trauma and adult frustrations as one of his patients, I don't see any possible way for him to be helped with this book.

Most of the stories vaguely allude to the therapy sessions with the doctor but he never told us how he managed to help each of them. Organization wise, it's more of a novel and is a disappointment for someone who is looking for clear distinct chapters/categories.

One star because there are a few things we can take away from this book. For instance, the doctor made some social observations about depression which helps the reader understand how some male depression came about. Some of the stories might help parents to become more sensitive towards their children so that they won't grow up with self-esteem or any other issues.



5 out of 5 stars Real Deal   October 30, 2007
I spent tens of thousands of my insurance company's money on expensive "rehabilitation" sleepaway camp - one of the best in fact! All I needed was this book, and good counselors at home who understand Covert Male Depression.

I was "high functioning" - just pursuing that which I "was trained" by society and by my parents equals being a "man" - money, success, cars, houses, etc - I wasn't trained to do that which I simply wanted to do.

This book enlightened me to my "Real" malady - covert male depression. I know now I was "set up" and Real's book helped me look within to find the courage to be a Relational Hero.

Man it hurts....


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