Customer Reviews: Read 131 more reviews...
 Must Read! June 5, 2008
This book has a lot of good info on communication. I learned quite a bit about how I communicate to others and what my body language is saying. There is some humor too and that made all the more enjoyable. Good book!
 Interesting February 18, 2008
I recommend this book to perhaps reinforce what you already may know. Particularly interesting was toward the end of the book where the author went into handling physical and sexual assaults.
Very superficial. A few good tips but shallow. January 27, 2008
2 out of 2 found this review helpful
I came across this book in my continuing research of NLP and hypnosis. Neither of which are addressed in this book. This book is a very basic and shallow guide to how to get along better with people. There is no magic here, no great revelations, just basic common sense advice on how to better interact with others.
I won't say the book was bad, it wasn't. However, it is very shallow and there is nothing in here that you wouldn't already know how to do. I expected at least some detailed conversational advice and, while this book had some, it was very limited.
It's a very quick read, very simple, and if you're looking for a good two day read to help you polish up your people skills for a new sales job, or a presentation, you will probably find a few helpful tips in here. If you are looking for something deeper, this isn't it.
Beneficial, Practical but Common Knowledge January 15, 2008
6 out of 6 found this review helpful
INTRO
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The author's promise: "this book contains ... tactics governing human behavior that will let you outsmart, outthink, and outmaneuver... anyone, anyplace, anytime." After reading the book, I am not confident I can outsmart, out-think, or outmaneuver anyone at anyplace and anytime. Instead, I have a greater awareness of what psychological techniques are useful for certain types of situations. Most if not all of the techniques explained in the book are practical but common knowledge.
HOW TO GET PEOPLE TO LIKE YOU
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The author suggests that you talk with someone when he is in a good mood if you want him to like you. Moreover, the author writes, "countless studies (and common sense) have established that we tend to like more those who like us." The tactics are to establish rapport by matching the person's gestures, rate of speech, and vocal patterns. I agree with the author, it is common sense (and common knowledge).
HOW TO MAKE A GREAT FIRST IMPRESSION?
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Smile.
HOW TO APPEAR CALM, CONFIDENT
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Smile. And breathe.
[I am beginning to think that all of these books that suggest we smile are going to create a world of fixed and affected smiling].
GET PEOPLE TO SAY WHAT THEY ARE REALLY THINKING
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I found this chapter to be useful and practical. E.g., suppose you ask some one whether they like the way you arranged furniture and the person responds, "I like it." You can then probe deeper by asking, "what would it take for you to love it?" Or you could ask, "how do you think I can make this room look even better?" It seems simple, and it is.
LEADERSHIP
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Great leaders, the author states, must be able to identify with followers by appealing to their desires, needs, and wants. A great leader is also a humble individual. The style of great leaders is clarity, simplicity, and directness. Moreover, great leaders respect everyone. It is demonstrated by showing people how terrific they are and not how great the leader is. People will think you are charismatic when they feel that you make them feel important and special.
GET ANYONE TO UNDERSTAND YOU
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It is a simple two-step process.
1. Give an overview (see the above sentence).
2. Say it is simple (see the above sentence).
GET GROUPS TO COOPERATE
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It is possible to get groups to cooperate by creating an external threat or setting one group up against another. The author writes, "A mind, like a group, with nothing to occupy it, will turn against itself. When we have nothing to focus our attention on our mind creates its own unrest and fears begin to take root." It is why hobbies are relaxing because it focuses our attention.
When naming your group, it is should be inspiring such as "The Conquerers" and not "The Philosophers."
GET GOOD ADVICE
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The author is mostly right about obtaining good advice. 1) Listen to advice with an open-mind. 2) When some one is jealous or envious of you, do not ask for advice. 3) If a person has an interest in the outcome of what you are asking advice about (whether it be emotional or financial) do not obtain advice from this person. 4) Obtain advice from a variety of individuals from different backgrounds.
HOW TO CRITICIZE
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The ability to criticize effectively without generating additional problems is an art and a science. I think the author offered practical and useful advice on this challenging and important ability.
1) Show you care, 2) do so in private, 3) preface criticism with a compliment), 4) criticize the act and not the person, 5) believe the person did the act unwittingly, 6) share responsibility for the act, 7) suggest a solution, and 8) tell the person he is not alone in the act. Additionally, a good amount of time should have passed from when the act occurred to when you criticize.
CONCLUSION
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In closing, I did enjoy the book but found it to be less useful than I anticipated and what the author's claims were. Nevertheless, I think it was beneficial and I am happy I read it. I was expecting more. You will obtain practice suggestions on how to handle certain types of situations but most of the suggestions are common knowledge.
I hope this review was helpful for you.
 total bs December 16, 2007
2 out of 2 found this review helpful
This book is a waste of money and the time it takes to read it! It is all BS. Basically, the material presented is the same that has been around forever. It all sounds like something one would have studied in an intro psychology class in the 1960's-and it has since been proven untrue! The time I wasted on this is time I will never get back. Don't make the same mistake I did. Save your time and money.
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