Customer Reviews: Read 6 more reviews...
 CD Player wouldn't read 1st CD June 2, 2008
0 out of 1 found this review helpful
The first CD of the 4-CD set wouldn't read in my car radio, so I started with #2. This book came highly recommended, and I drive so much I thought I'd try a book on tape. It is in fact a really great book (so far), and it's nice to have it read by the people who actually wrote the book...it's very hard to misinterpret anything in the book. I think I will have to buy the print version though...I find it a little hard to really absorb what's being said while driving.
 excellent study for ALL couples May 30, 2008
0 out of 1 found this review helpful
We're using this book in a Couples Sunday School Class as a study guide and are working through the chapters and workbook questions together. It's true that more planning goes into the wedding than the marriage. Sooner or later we have to put work into the marriage to make it work and to enjoy the fullness of the union got intended. Well written. Thought provoking.
Helpful guide May 8, 2008
1 out of 2 found this review helpful
Easy to read and follow, applicable to real life, suitable for individual, couple or small group study. I recommend the companion workbooks, too, in order to get the full benefits of the book.
Wow April 18, 2008
1 out of 2 found this review helpful
I really like Les and Leslie and this book is great! I am giving it to a young couple who is about to get married and I trust it will help not only with pre-marital, but marital questions they will have but will never ask mom or dad or anyone else.
 Poorly-Written Book April 16, 2008
10 out of 12 found this review helpful
This book is written by a husband and wife team seeking to guide couples through a very specific type of premarital counseling. Unfortunately, the authors rely heavily on their own marriage experiences rather than accepted social science in providing counsel.
This kit includes a hardcover book as well as two separate, "gender-contextualized" workbooks. The male workbook provides guidance on issues that the authors claim to be male-specific and the female workbook provides guidance on issues the authors claim to be female-specific. For instance, the men's workbook includes advice on positively redirecting anger when the wife is late with dinner or frequently forgets to run errands or do her chores. By contrast, the female workbook discusses ways to positively redirect anger when the husband spends too much time watching sports, forgets to celebrate the first anniversary of their first date, comes home late from work, or criticizes how long she takes getting ready.
In the hardcover that accompanies the workbook, the Doctors Parrott claim that science has proven these gender differences to be hard-wired and not merely social. They substantiate this claim with evidence from their own marriage experience and use a number of tautologies, circular references, and decontextualized quotes from other self-help authors as grounds for their conclusion.
For example, on page 104 of the hardcover book, the Parrott's recount an instance in which gender differences caused a dispute in their own marriage and go on to claim: "Our differences are not unique. They are universal: Men are motivated by achievement, women by relationships." The Parrotts footnote this claim and the corresponding reference cites not substantiative evidence but rather two other self-help books: "As for Me and My House" - Walter Wangerin and "Men Are from Mars, Women are from Venus. - John Gray"
Even within these circular references, the references themselves suggest the authors may not have fully read or understood the material they cite. For instance, the authors quoted Dr. Harville Hendrix's "Getting the Love you Want" to provide substantiation for a claim Hendrix actually takes pains to dispute in his own work. The Doctors Parrott claim that one partner cannot resolve unmet childhood needs of the other partner. The Parrott's citation of Hendrix was structured to suggest that he would substantiate this claim, however, his own work suggests the opposite is true.
Overall, much of the content is likely to be offensive to many readers. The book includes anecdotes and stories about gender roles that many will find misogynistic or sexist. (The book claims that, universally speaking, men get self esteem from accomplishments, while women get self esteem from relationships). What's more, the workbooks ask couples to answer questions relating to the sexual conduct of their parents.
Beyond the potential for offending readers, the book is clearly geared toward very young couples, just out of college or still living with their parents, who might be getting married. Couples with even the most basic communication, budgeting, and relationship building skills will find the workbooks remedial and, unfortunately, the book spends very little or no time at all on more sophisticated topics like in-law and family dynamics, childrearing and discipline philosophy, or other important topics that might appeal to couples truly seeking tools to strengthen their future or current marriage.
Premarital counseling can be made very useful and relevant, but this book fails to connect on both counts.
|
