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Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men | 
 enlarge | Author: Lundy Bancroft
Publisher: Putnam Adult
Category: Book
List Price: $26.95
Buy Used: $10.50
You Save: $16.45 (61%)
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Avg. Customer Rating:  190 reviews
Sales Rank: 336973
Media: Hardcover
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 432
Shipping Weight (lbs): 1.6
Dimensions (in): 9.4 x 6.1 x 1.4
ISBN: 0399148442
Dewey Decimal Number: 362.82920973
EAN: 9780399148446
ASIN: 0399148442
Publication Date: September 2002
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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Product Description
In this groundbreaking book, domestic violence expert Lundy Bancroft uses his unique perspective as a therapist for abusive and controlling men to help women, their children, and other family members who have been touched by abuse understand why abusers behave the way they do and what can be done about it. Bancroft teaches women how to survive and improve an abusive relationship; how to determine how dangerous an abuser is and when it is impossible to rectify a situation; and how to get out of a relationship safely.
Bancroft identifies nine types of abusive men, addressing different styles, from the physical batterer to the strictly verbal abuser. He dispels the pervasive societal myths surrounding abuse, exposing common excuses used by abusers, such as having experienced an abusive childhood or substance addiction. Bancroft answers commonly asked questions, such as what warning signs of abuse to look for early in a relationship; what is and isn't abusive behavior; how to know if a woman and her children are in danger; and how to tell when a man is really changing.
Why Does He Do That? gets to the heart of abusive men's thoughts and behaviors, making it a vital resource for victims of domestic violence, their families, and professionals. This empowering book gives women the tools they need to get back in control of their own lives.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 185 more reviews...
 Great book! September 11, 2008
"Why Does He Do That" is a very insightful book that has answered many questions for me. It's easy to read and hard to put down. I highly recommend it to everyone.
Hmmm I Did'nt Know That Was Abuse.... September 5, 2008
Hello. I really like the straight forward approach Lundy uses in the book. I had no idea so many behaviors were abusive..until now. The book puts things into perspective. He covers a lot and many circomstanses were not for me, but over all the book was very informative and supportive for the woman who is in an abusive relationship and doesn't know it and for the ones who know and just need to see it in print. The book offers clear boundaries and clear ways in which to handle each situation and the serious reasons why action needs to take place in most abusive situations. Overall very informative, supportive and clear.
Very Insightful September 2, 2008
I haven't even read the entire book yet, but what I have read is very insightful. At times, the truth hurts while reading, it hits close to home but it a great reminder and helps you to understand and see the light. It's scary to think that I am not the only person that has experienced some of the incidences, but it is also very helpful to see how easily it is to be manipulated. I am more aware now of what to look for. I have read other self-help type books, but none were as detailed as this one. I recommend this book to others, I even showed it to my therapist, she's thrilled I'm reading it. There are a broad range of topices to be covered, this is a keeper.
 Why do THEY do that? August 29, 2008
3 out of 5 found this review helpful
Wow! This book is really popular among angry women!
I have to agree that Lundy does a good job of describing a particular type of abusive man. What he fails to do is recognize the well documented facts that
* 50% of all domestic violence is mutual - that is, involving both partners, equally
* 25% is initiated by the man, and 25% by the woman
* More than 85% of men are NEVER violent in their domestic relationships (as documented by very simple research - asking elderly women, most of whom had predeceased their partners, if they had ever in their lives been assaulted by a partner).
Domestic violence is NOT a gender problem. It is a human problem! The real victims of intimate partner assault are the CHILDREN - who are about equally divided between boys and girls
If domestic battery results from "male privilege," or other such feminist theories, how are we to explain women who batter men, women who batter other women (i.e., in lesbian relationships), and men who batter men?
I have raised these questions, and others, with the esteemed Mr. Bancroft. He refused to be "baited" with such questions. A "scientist?" I think not!
If you want to learn something about this topic, you might start with anything by Don Dutton, Linda Mills, or John Hamel.
 Great Resource August 26, 2008
As a therapist working with women involved in abusive relationships, I found this book to be very helpful to them and recommend it to most of my clients. As a clinician, I think there are many contradictions, but then, it wasn't written for me. Particularly helpful was the chapter on change.
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