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Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving & Thriving With the Self-Absorbed | 
 enlarge | Author: Wendy T. Behary
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Category: Book
List Price: $14.95
Buy New: $8.87
You Save: $6.08 (41%)
New (33) Used (8) from $8.79
Avg. Customer Rating:  11 reviews
Sales Rank: 5205
Media: Paperback
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 184
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.5
Dimensions (in): 8.8 x 5.9 x 0.4
ISBN: 1572245190
Dewey Decimal Number: 158.2
EAN: 9781572245198
ASIN: 1572245190
Publication Date: March 2008
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Shipping: International shipping available
Condition: GREAT BUY!Brand New From US Distributor! WE ARE A 5 STAR SELLER with OVER 3,500,000 BOOKS SOLD!!! OVER ~ 600,000 FEEDBACKS ~ POSTED!!!
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Book Description
How can you handle the narcissistic people in your life? They're frustrating (and maybe even intimidating) to deal with. You might need to interact with some of them in social or professional settings, and you might even love one--so sometimes it just doesn't work to simply ignore them. You need to find a way of communicating effectively with narcissists, getting your point across and meeting your needs while side-stepping unproductive power struggles and senseless arguments. This book offers a host of effective strategies for dealing effectively with someone who is at the center of his or her own universe. Disarming the Narcissist will show you how to move past the narcissist's defenses using compassionate, empathetic communication. You'll learn how narcissists view the world, how to navigate their coping styles, and why, oftentimes, it's sad and lonely being a narcissist. By learning to anticipate and avoid certain hot-button issues, you'll be able to relate to narcissists without triggering aggression. By validating some common narcissistic concerns, you'll find out how to be heard in conversation with a narcissist. Finally, you'll learn how to set limits with your narcissist and when it's time to draw the line on unacceptable behavior. "Anyone whose life predicament includes dealing with a narcissist will be well-advised to read Wendy Behary's book and heed her advice. Disarming the Narcissist offers sound suggestions and keen insights--a breakthrough in one of psychology's toughest cases."
--Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence "...a valuable contribution to the growing self-help literature on the fascinating subject of narcissism. Behary takes the reader step-by-step through a process of understanding our personal triggers to the wounding inherent in narcissistic relations and then lays out a pathway for personal empowerment and change."
--Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW, author of Why Is It Always About You?
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| Customer Reviews: Read 6 more reviews...
 Most disappointing July 24, 2008
0 out of 1 found this review helpful
Unfortunately, the suggestions provided in this book to disarm a narcissist would only be useful when dealing those who do Not have narcissism. It appears this book has been written based on theory only and provides the reader with extremely ineffective suggestions for practical application.
I have read many, many books on the subject and by far this one was the most disappointing.
 Oh please. June 11, 2008
1 out of 4 found this review helpful
Not very helpful book. Some of the descriptions of narcissists really hit home, but aside from that there was nothing here of interest to me. Her suggestions of what to say to a narcissist were good for a laugh. I have been in long-term relationships with two of these characters and if I had ever said anything like she suggests, they would have laughed in my face and called me insane. You cannot reason with these people, period.
 Insightful & Practical, Easy to understand. A Must Read Book! April 10, 2008
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
Wendy Behary has deep scientific knowledge of her topic and immense clinical experience. They both come in very handy as she writes this insightful book that is also full of practical advice as to how to cope and survive the self-absorbed (and there are so many of them out there, some in disguise!). Even though she uses a lot of hard scientific information, her book is easy to understand by any reader without specific knowledge on the subject. It is a must read kind of book for all those dealing with a narcissist in their lives, but also for anyone intrigued by the complexity of human nature.
Highly effective and beautifully written April 10, 2008
6 out of 7 found this review helpful
I have over 25 years of full time practice as a therapist and have had extensive training in psychoanalysis, cognitive therapy and schema therapy (the approach upon which this book is based). This book does justice to the full depth and complexity of Narcissism. It does not offer simplistic advice or a quick solution that, like chewing gum, seems great at the start but quickly fades. With warmth, a delightful sense of humor and compassion, this author takes you by the hand and introduces you to the key strategies we have found effective in dealing with, and overcoming, narcissism. This book is clear, practical, and enjoyable to read. It will take time, effort and repeated study to fully grasp all that is offered but I can assure that your effort will be well rewarded since this author has obviously "done her homework" and truly knows. Upon first read, some of the strategies may seem difficult to execute. This is because they are built upon a blending and layering of skills and knowledge involving the heart and the mind. This is what it takes to be effective with narcissism. There is not a quick and easy way. I can assure you that if you are not just going through the motions, they work. Similar to learning to play a musical instrument or a new sport like golf or tennis, what can seem daunting at the start will eventually be in your grasp if you break it into the steps you need and gradually put it all together. Some of us will be a quick study and some of us will benefit from additional "coaching". The author provides useful links for the latter.
I, as a seasoned therapist, have learned a great deal from this book and find it making a significant difference in my work. I will be returning to it repeatedly myself.
Simple & useful information April 1, 2008
4 out of 4 found this review helpful
This book could be disappointing if you are looking for an in depth explanation and analysis of narcissism. However, if you are looking for ways to help and protect yourself in relation to a narcissist, this book has a lot to offer.
The author gives a compassionate look at what makes a narcissist, in plain and simple terms without a lot of jargon or technical terms. She also helps the reader understand and identify how and why the narcissist manages to push his/her buttons, and gives simple exercises and suggestions for helping free him/herself from it.
I highly recommend this book for the lay-person who may find him/herself caught in destructive relationship with the chronically self-absorbed narcissist.
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