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My Custom Van: And 50 Other Mind-Blowing Essays that Will Blow Your Mind All Over Your Face | 
enlarge | Author: Michael Ian Black Publisher: Simon Spotlight Entertainment Category: Book
List Price: $23.95 Buy New: $14.77 You Save: $9.18 (38%)
New (27) Used (9) from $13.76
Avg. Customer Rating: 50 reviews Sales Rank: 12042
Media: Hardcover Number Of Items: 1 Pages: 240 Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.8 Dimensions (in): 8.3 x 5.7 x 1
ISBN: 1416964053 Dewey Decimal Number: 818.602 EAN: 9781416964056 ASIN: 1416964053
Publication Date: July 15, 2008 Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days Shipping: Expedited shipping available Shipping: International shipping available Condition: Brand new Item. CD, DVD, Book, VHS more than 400 000 titles to choose from. ALL days Low Price !
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Product Description Get ready for the read of your life. Never before has a single book combined awesome vans, unicorns, Billy Joel, and erotic fiction in such a potent combination. A writing tour de force? Perhaps. A reading experience that will sear itself into your consciousness like a red-hot branding iron? Without question.Comedian and basic cable superstar Michael Ian Black unleashes the full fury of his astonishing intellect in this collection of short comic essays. My Custom Van is a no-holds-barred assault to the funny bone that will literally beat you into submission with hilarity*. How did he do it? How did he create such a fine anthology? Answer: With love. Michael opened his heart and used the magical power of love to write more than fifty thought-provoking essays like, "Why I Used a Day-Glo Magic Marker to Color My Dick Yellow," and "An Open Letter to the Hair Stylist Who Somehow Convinced Me to Get a Perm When I Was in Sixth Grade." Maybe you think love is not a substitute for "good writing skills" and "spell check." Bull pucky! When it comes to writing books, love is the most powerful word processor of all. Sounds pretty great, right? And yet...something is still holding you back from paying the full purchase price of this book. What is it? Perhaps you secretly believe you do not deserve a book this good. Nonsense -- you deserve this book and so much more. In fact, if Michael could have written you all the stars in the sky, that's what he would have done. But he couldn't do that, due to his lack of knowledge in the area of astronomy. So he wrote this book instead. And this flap copy. Enjoy. * Michael Ian Black is not responsible for any actual injuries caused by reading this book.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 45 more reviews...
The funniest thing I have ever read August 29, 2008 My Custom Van is, if not one of the funniest, then THE funniest book I have ever read. Each of these fifty or so essays produced not a chuckle, not a polite laugh, but deep belly laughs, the kind that bring tears to your eyes.
I admit to being a complete and utter fan of Black's appearances on the VH1 "I Love the..." series of television specials. Black's humor is biting and well-timed, with zingers that will get you in the gut. Thankfully, he's an equally talented writer with a wonderful imagination. Who else but Michael Ian Black would: wonder what would happen if he colored his personal area with a magic marker? write letters to a squirrel, or to the first girl he ever intimately encountered while at sleepaway camp? Or even pen some of the most obnoxiously funny "erotica" ever to land on the page?
While I certainly got fifty kicks out of reading this book, I can definitely see how some readers might not be as amused. I think Black's humor might not be for everybody, but I'm not exactly sure what makes me think that. But if you're the kind who enjoys a quick romp through a tome written by a guy with a unique sense of humor and point of view, perhaps you should check this book out. You may actually find yourself with a yen for eating fudge in the back of Black's custom flokati and bamboo covered van.
This guy is Nuts. . . & proud of it. August 29, 2008 2 out of 2 found this review helpful
I read this in a single shift while working in a scale-shack on a construction site.
That sentence alone could easily qualify as a chapter in "My Custom Van", which is a rather eccentric meandering collection of thoughts on a tangent disguised as essays.
I picked this up thinking of George Carlin, I really enjoy Carlin's observational essays and bits and I figured this might be in the same vein. I guess I really didn't know Michael Ian Black that well, because this is nothing like Carlin. NOT that that is a bad thing! Just for some reason unexpected, that's all.
While some of these certainly made me laugh out loud or simply let my jaw drop. The funny/shocking essays always seemed to be sandwiched between some rather ho-hum bits, that were just not to my taste. Of course the book only promises that there are sections which will apply to every aspect of our lives, maybe I just haven't personally hit those 'aspects' yet. Then again, I don't want to.
Michael Ian Black is clearly existing in his own strange little world and is pretty darn happy about that. Of course, anyone who has caught his ad-libs on Vh1'S "I Love..." series really dosen't need to read his book to know that.
I will admit, his insights on highschool football coaches and the hairdressers who ruined the lives of vulnerable pre-adolescents brought a few people to mind that, personally, I'd rather have not remembered.
A Mixed Bag August 28, 2008 1 out of 2 found this review helpful
Anyone who has seen Michael Ian Black on VH1's "I Love The . . ." Series, will know that his humor is rather bizarre and very dark. It can also be hysterically funny at times.
The same goes for this book. Some of the essays are bizarre, dark and some are also very funny.
I found I only enjoyed about a quarter of the essays and found the other three-quarters hard to wade through.
Highlights:
The Forward by Abraham Lincoln. This had me laughing out loud.
Letters To A Squirrel.
Vampires - Good For The Economy?
And a couple whose title I can't write in this review.
Lowlights:
Several of the essay's whose title I can't write in this review.
Liberal use of profanity. This can actually be quite humorous in several of the essays, but there are quite a few where it seems that the only reason for the essay is to see how much profanity you can fit into a couple of paragraphs.
All and all a hit and miss book. Fans of Ian Michael Black may find this more humorous than people who have never heard of him.
Michael Is A Funny Guy August 28, 2008 1 out of 2 found this review helpful
I've always enjoyed Michael Ian Black's dry wit since I first saw him on the great show ED and on the Poker tv show. The book is a bunch of strange and funny essays that are great because you can pick the book and have some laughs and pick it up again later and instantly have the fun again. The celebrity comments on the dust cover with Sarah Silverman outline the handy use in the bathroom of this fun book. I've really enjoyed it and I'm sure I will continue to pick it up for a quick smile in the future.
Interesting but odd collection of thoughts August 28, 2008 0 out of 1 found this review helpful
Truth be told, I had never heard of Michael Ian Black but I enjoy comedians and I thought his book sounded interesting. Yes, it was interesting, but it was not quite what I expected.
Each chapter/essay is only 4-5 pages long and is on a different subject. The subjects vary broadly in topic. Some are pretty funny. Some are just odd. I imagine if you are already familiar with Michael Ian Black and enjoy him, you will probably like the book. I enjoyed several of the essays, but others I did not appreciate for a variety of reasons - the language, the subject matter, etc. A large fraction of the essays are really nonsensical and quite puzzling to me.
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