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Kick the Balls: An Offensive Suburban Odyssey | 
 enlarge | Author: Alan Black
Publisher: Hudson Street Press
Category: Book
List Price: $23.95
Buy New: $5.78
You Save: $18.17 (76%)
New (35) Used (9) Collectible (1) from $5.78
Avg. Customer Rating:  10 reviews
Sales Rank: 393616
Media: Hardcover
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 272
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.9
Dimensions (in): 8.2 x 5.6 x 1.3
ISBN: 159463047X
Dewey Decimal Number: 796.334
EAN: 9781594630477
ASIN: 159463047X
Publication Date: June 12, 2008
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Shipping: Expedited shipping available
Shipping: International shipping available
Condition: 100%\
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Product Description
Fever Pitch meets Trainspotting in this laugh-outloud, caustic account of one mans attempt to coach a peewee soccer team
When Alan Black was a child growing up in Glasgow, Scotland, socceror what he called fitbawas the be all and end all. His experience was not the little league, boys-of-summer stuff of modern America. For him, it was life and death. Now middleaged and living in California, Alan finds himself coaching a team of eight-year-olds in his beloved sportand nothing is going right.
For a start, the kids are no good at soccer. Secondly, theyre pampered. Born and bred on the sport, Blacks hardscrabble Scottish upbringing consisted of playing tough and victory at all costs. Needless to say, his coaching methods are a far cry from the winning isnt everything mentality his little leaguers have been reared with; and players and parents alike are shocked as Black attempts to transform the losing team through drills and bombast. Alone at night, watching evangelicals on TV, Black finds himself searching for some truth in the culture he finds so bizarre. And its with the Tigers that he feels most out of syncfaced with a mix of soft suburban children, a raft of overprotective parents, and an Iranian co-coach called Ali. Told with Blacks uproarious Scottish sensibility, Kick the Balls follows the abrasive, irreverent, and hilarious coach as he contends with a team that winds up with a zero-win record.
Both a celebration of his own tough childhood and an account of one mans navigation of an alien culture, Kick the Balls will delight fans of well-told, laugh-out-loud memoirs.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 5 more reviews...
 Bleeding Brilliant September 15, 2008
An hilarious look at the hard-boiled world of Scottish youth football of twenty+ years ago, contrasted with today's enabled and pampered state of American youth soccer.
Drool all over self humor September 3, 2008
and a takedown of all that is suburban flatlining. Late night laughs that kept my girl up and she ended up protesting everytime I picked it up.
I passed a copy off to a Scottish bartender, here in LA, so that she would be able to use the comeback to, "Glasgow" "oh.what part of England is that..." "the scottish part"
Great job Senor Black...E.E.
great memoir August 21, 2008
Alan Black is a force of nature. A Scottish force of nature to be exact. This is a hysterical, thought-provoking, funny, tragic memoir about the world's biggest and most popular religion. soccer. Or football as it's known in the civilized world. But it's also a story of a man coming to grips with his past, with his present and his future. It doesn't matter if you are one of the unwashed American masses who doesn't understand or appreciate the beautiful game. If you've ever been a kid, you should read this book. this is Black comedy at its best.
Ridiculously funny July 31, 2008
I don't watch soccer. I don't care about soccer. But this book made me laugh so hard I got eyeballed on the bus as perhaps a bit 'special'.
No one's feelings should be hurt here when he makes fun of you - and yes, he'll make fun of you, and you, and you. He's equal opportunity in mocking athletes, non-athletes, Americans, Scotsmen, parents, coaches, everyone. No need to be offended. Its all in good fun. And its all true.
Really, you have to read this book.
What happened to my review??? Sounds of the Suburbs July 23, 2008
I wrote a review for this book on June 28 and now it's gone. In fact, there were a few reviews up here. Well, thanks to Google cache here's what I said:
When I was a kid in the 1970s, they said in the future soccer would become massively popular in America and we would all use the metric system. Didn't happen. The metric system is pretty much only used to refer to illicit drugs, but almost every American kid in the suburbs plays in a soccer league at least once.
Alan Black's "Kick The Balls" is about his adventures coaching a kids' soccer league, yes. But it is much more. It's about Alan trying to assimilate into the American suburbs. And this is the super funny stuff. No one is safe from Black's barbs: TV preachers, kids, Dockers pants, parents, multiculturalism, the cult of the suburban lawn. Oh and it's not just a snarky hit piece on the easy target of suburban life, Black reserves his sharpest wit to mock himself: a cynical, uncomfortable, Scottish transplant to California. Recommended to anyone in need of a hearty jaundiced laugh at the world and themselves. Extra bonus funny (and insightful) if you are in the position of trying to cope with maintaining your identity and making new friends in a suburban, middle class, vanilla wasteland (i.e., if you're like this reviewer).
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