|
| 
 enlarge | Manufacturer: Crown
Category: EBooks
List Price: $9.95
Buy New: $7.96
You Save: $1.99 (20%)
Avg. Customer Rating:  202 reviews
Sales Rank: 8659
Format: Kindle Book
Media: Kindle Edition
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 352
Dewey Decimal Number: 289.3092
ASIN: B000FCJZG8
Publication Date: March 1, 2005
Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours
|
| Customer Reviews:
 Precisely the reason why I left September 2, 2008
2 out of 6 found this review helpful
I loved "Leaving the Saints," not because it was the best book ever written (not quite there, but still good) but because it was a woman, and not a man who had the courage to both honor and expose The Latter Day Saints.
As an ex-member, I have kept many good teachings from the church. I have them to thank for my ability to control my finances, stay clear of harmful substances, store food and other essentials for a rainy day, and value family.
However, as a woman, I know that the church is ultra patriarchal, has a history of sexism, racism, and homophobia. I do not believe in its ideas of men becoming gods, with the "ability" to have multiple wives in heaven. Sorry, but I am not here to "help" men achieve heaven, at least not in the way they intend. And I fervently believe that anything touched by mortality is tainted. So I am not surprised at the number of accounts of abuse coming from church members.
At 15 years of age, one of my then good friends was sexually abused by her father, a priesthood holder. She was told by our Bishop to pray for him, and I told her to call the police. At that moment I realized that this church is more preoccupied with saving face, then saving the daughters and sons it supposedly "loves."
I love Martha's ability to speak out, and to see both good and bad in the church, and run from neither. Perhaps if the church were to do the same, it wouldn't be seen as a cult, but as an institution that tries to get better by admitting their humanity, and facing the truth.
Fantastic book July 9, 2008
3 out of 7 found this review helpful
I honestly have nothing to say about whatever supposed "anti-Mormon" slant the book has. I knew all the back-story stuff about Mormonism when I started reading the book; that wasn't what interested me. I had no idea who Martha Beck's father was or that he was some bigshot in the Mormon church - that didn't interest me either.
What did interest me was Martha's heartfelt and candid exploration of going through remembrance of her childhood sexual abuse, through anger and bewilderment to forgiveness. Regardless of what anyone else (and it's usually someone with an ulterior motive) has to say about the veracity of "recovered memories," they do happen. I was molested as a young child, by a male babysitter, and did not fully remember the details of the incident until I was much older. I did not have my revelation as a result of therapy; it happened one night as I was alone in my room reading. I did end up in therapy as a result but my therapist did not focus on "recovering" any more details of the incident; she only wanted to discuss what I was able to remember unassisted, and help me to move past it. Reading Martha's recollections brought back terrible and wonderful memories for me, of my own journey through anger into forgiveness. Perhaps people who have not had the experience cannot understand, but really there is no reason for someone to make up or embellish memories of sexual abuse, and it shouldn't be difficult to understand why people would repress memories of it. It's not exactly the kind of thing you want to remember.
This is a wonderful book, full of humor and love and Beck's amazement at her own awakening. Beck speaks with a voice that is so honest, so raw, so open that it was impossible for me to doubt one word of what she said. The fact that her siblings, ex-husband etc. tried to cast aspersions on what she said (one of her siblings attempted to do this by saying that Beck had been 'melodramatic as a child' - gee, I wonder why?) says, to me, that there is truth in her story; otherwise why would people be so eager to discredit it? If it was made up out of whole cloth everyone would have laughed off the allegations and that would have been it. The fact that so many people put forth such concerted effort to slander Ms. Beck and her account lead me to believe that she is telling the truth, not that she is a histrionic attention-seeker. My mother had a similar reaction to Beck's mother when I told her about my remembrance - saying at first that she "had always known" something had gone on, but then telling me that abuse is "not that big of a deal" and that I should just try not to think about it ever again. My therapist helped me to understand that many mothers react this way to abuse revelations because it's easier for them to disbelieve and/or discount than to face the idea that they failed to protect their child from something horrific - especially if they themselves suffered abuse as children.
The main reason why I would recommend this book to any other survivor of childhood sexual abuse is because of its focus on freedom, and letting go. As long as you hold hate and anger in your heart about your abuse, or toward your abuser, you cannot be free. If you live your life from a place of anger, eventually that anger - and therefore the abuse - will begin to define you as a person. And who wants to be defined by abuse, or by their abuser? Abusers take much from their child victims, but they do not take away their ability to get clear of the abuse and define themselves. Abuse victims do not have to forgive - just accept, and move forward. By the same token, if you do not face your memories and come to terms with what happened, you cannot be free either. I wholeheartedly believe that Martha's intent in this book was not to slander anyone or ruin anyone's life; she is doing what she felt she needed to do to get free of what happened to her. I could actually care less about the Mormonism stuff in the book, although people who are anti-Mormon will find plenty of fuel for their fire in here - I highly recommend this book to people who are struggling to come to terms with the fallout of their own abuse memories. Beck's story is one that is easy to relate to, and her attitude about moving on is ultimately incredibly healthy and positive. Kudos to her for having the courage to tell her story.
saints June 22, 2008
1 out of 4 found this review helpful
I found Martha Beck's book very healing. Having grown up near Provo Utah, I could really understand and identify with the situations and challenges she talked about. Seeing Mormonism from a more objective viewpoint I could let go of some of the guilt I have felt and understand why some of the beliefs just didn't feel good.
Thank you Martha, I can't believe you really said that.
Wow, this woman is smart! June 3, 2008
1 out of 6 found this review helpful
I'm always intimidated to write a review for a really good book because I'm afraid I won't do it justice. This woman is one hell of a writer. If her father had one half of her talent for language I can understand how, through the "apologies" he wrote, he would be able to keep people faithful to a religion that is KOOKY at best. I'm sure this story of Martha's successful journey through her dark night of the soul into true spiritual peace and understanding will be a beacon for others who have experienced any kind of personal tragedy or challenge. The insider's view of the history and workings of the Mormon Church is enough of a reason to read it.
 Anyone who knows the two of them . . . June 2, 2008
4 out of 9 found this review helpful
Anyone who knows both Hugh Nibley and Martha Beck knows who is telling the truth--it isn't Mrs. Beck.
|
|
|
Powered by Associate-O-Matic
| |
